July

 Cone of Shame? More Like Crown of Chaos 👑

So… even with his head stuck in that ridiculous cone, Chewy still knows how to bring the party. I don’t get it. The guy’s got stitches trying to hold his ear together like it’s a craft project, and somehow he’s out there, acting like it’s Spring Break.

Emma turned on the sprinkler for Skye (because of course she did), and Skye was living for it—prancing, spinning, living her best soggy life. Me? I was watching from a safe, dry distance, wondering why water has to shoot from the ground like that. It’s unnatural. Chewy was kind of into it, but only because it made mud. That’s his thing. Filthy, chaotic, proud of it. And honestly? It is fun to watch him try to do his usual wild-boy routine with that big plastic funnel around his neck. He bumps into everything. It’s tragic. It’s comic. It’s Chewy.

Emma kept shouting something about how he couldn’t get his ear wet. He’s “still binding.” I don’t know what that means exactly, but it sounds like serious business. I just hope he’s better soon so we can all return to some kind of normal—well, as normal as this house ever gets.

Anyway, I stayed clear of the sprinkler scene. Look, someone has to supervise from the dry zone. I was the voice of reason today. Let the others run wild—I’ll stay fabulous and mud-free.

– Peanut
(life coach, dry-paw advocate, and unimpressed by sprinkler culture) 🐾