I’ve been up since the first squirrel chirped

 

Good morning, humans! 🐾

I’ve been up since the first squirrel chirped, waiting for Emma to finish preening so the day can begin. She keeps muttering about pancakes with “Jennifer” and something called an art exhibit, but honestly, I’m more interested in whether the Lincoln Square Pancake House allows distinguished canines. (Spoiler: it probably doesn’t, so I’ll be left guarding the house again.) At least we’re soaking up the sunrise together in our favorite lounge chair. I slept upstairs all night like a champion—no accidents. Emma says if I keep this up, I get to stay in the bedroom; otherwise, it’s back to the basement dungeon. Challenge accepted.

Hours of driving yesterday—yawn. Emma kept nodding off, which is terrifying when you’re strapped into a crate. She claims a thyroid check is in order. I say more naps are in order. We stopped at the Golden Arches for chicken nuggets (heaven) and ice cream (would’ve been better with a spoon… or a bowl… or a bucket). She used her fingers and let me clean them. I call that teamwork.

Look, I prefer riding shotgun on Emma’s lap, but “safety” this, “laws” that—so I was exiled to the back crate. I voiced my displeasure loudly down 65th Street. Emma’s eye twitch told me my message was received.

Home at last—jungle heat! The garden looked like it guzzled every raindrop in Indiana. Flowers beaming, weeds celebrating. Creeping Charlie tried to throw a welcome‑home parade; Emma grabbed the trowel and declared war.

Evening patrol: success. We caught some stranger parking on an apple tree’s roots. Emma lectured her about soil compaction. I added a growl for emphasis. Emma considered tire-slashing; I considered leaving a “biological citation” by the bumper. We settled for a stern stare.

 After Emma’s pancake‑art‑Aldi circuit, we’ll mow, prune, and hang more shiny trinkets. I’ll supervise, of course—head horticulturist and chief squirrel patrol reporting for duty.

And for the record: I still vote for front‑seat privileges.

– Peanut 🐾