Friends of Broad Ripple Park

Ugh. Honestly, the paparazzi should’ve been there, because today at the park was a scandal. I arrived—tail arched, coat gleaming, the whole California vibe radiating off me—when suddenly I locked eyes with Sarge. And what horror awaited? We were in matching outfits. Matching! I do not do matching. I set the fashion. Others follow. That’s the order of things.

But then came the ultimate betrayal. My harness? Oh no. Not just any harness—it was one of Sarge’s hand-me-downs. Excuse me? Me, Peanut, international icon trapped in an eight-pound body, wearing used goods? Absolutely unacceptable.

And Emma? Don’t even get me started. She was out there in a hand-me-down dress from Sarge’s human. I love her, but we looked like the “before” picture of a makeover show. Thank goodness I was there to elevate the entire scene.

Let’s be clear: I turned a clearance-rack disaster into a red-carpet moment with nothing but attitude. Everyone in that park knew it. Sarge looked like Sarge. Emma looked… fine. And me? I looked like I belonged on the cover of Dogue.

Now, I’ll admit, Emmadoes a lot of chatting. If I see you, I bark, wag, and move on. Done. She had to bring out the camera, which is mortifying. Are we getting money from these snaps, Emma? I don't pose for free.

After our walk, Emma got busy gardening. That’s where my real work starts. I take my post at the front doorstep, chest out, ears up. Nobody—and I mean nobody—gets past without me knowing. The same man with the blue hair walks past every night. I am sure he is casing the place. It takes constant vigilance to protect Emma while she’s bent over in the dirt, but I’m up to the job. I am the muscle on the premises.

When she finally came back inside, Emma read her book. I curled up close, keeping one ear tuned to danger. She needs me, even if she doesn’t always admit it. I keep her safe in the garden, safe on walks, and safe at night—even if sometimes she yells when I wake her up.

That’s the life of a guardian. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

—Peanut 🐾